When Life Breaks Your Heart

“When you can’t see past the tears, trust His heart” – C.H. Spurgeon

Usually when we hear the term “broken heart” we think of it in terms of a broken romantic relationship, but the truth is our heart can be broken when anything our heart has hoped in is disappointed. We hope for a job, promotion, or opportunity and we don’t get it; we hope for a certain direction in life and are dissuaded by sickness, finances, family problems, or who-knows what else; we hope for happiness but often trials and heartache find us instead. Proverbs says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick,” (Prov 13:12) and when hope is disappointed the heart is indeed as if “sick,” we just tend to use the term “broken”. Emotional pain is very real… and you can’t put a band-aid on it. If it is not dealt with it can lead to depression and even physical illness. And then you can lose hope altogether which is why it has led some to their death or to the taking of their own life. It is possible to die from a broken heart.

However, as a Christian who believes in both the complete sovereignty and perfect goodness of God, I have often sought to understand His purposes for my trials. The path of pain is often mysterious but we do know that in all things God has one ultimate purpose, to conform His children to the image of Christ (Rom 8:28-29). Each time as I have allowed the Lord to work in my heart He has revealed things in my heart that He wanted to correct. This is not to say that we always bring hardship or pain on ourselves because of our sin, although that is sometimes the case. Often the Lord simply allows us to go through hard circumstances in order to grow our faith. If we never struggled, we would never grow. “No pain, no gain” is a motto that the Apostle Paul exemplified.

While there have been many things that I've learned through seasons of brokenness, the correction (teaching) has often centered around one question the Spirit whispers to my heart, “Beloved, where is your hope?” Psalm 42:5 says, “Why art thou cast down, O my soul? And why art thou disquieted in me? Hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.” I chose to use the KJV here because I love the beautiful language of the command “Hope thou in God”. In Psalm 27:13-14 it says this, “I would have lost heart unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait I say, on the LORD.” Without hope we lose heart, so we must believe. Believe in what? In the goodness of God! Hold on to your faith that God is good and that one day all will be made right. A.W. Tozer wrote, “Whether we are happy or unhappy at any given time is not important. That we be in the will of God is all that matters. We may safely leave with Him the incident of heartache or happiness. He will know how much we need of either or both.” Yes, feelings matter. And we shouldn’t just dismiss the hurt that someone feels. But feelings are not truth. We must look beyond how we feel to Christ who, by the way, suffered more than we ever could.

Jim and Elisabeth Elliot are two of my heroes. Despite their love and desire to marry they waited about 4 years before Jim finally sensed the Lord’s timing and leading them to be joined. Then, less than 2 ½ years later (when their daughter was only a year old) Jim was killed by the natives he was trying to reach with the Gospel. A few years later Elisabeth spent several years in the jungle with the very men who had murdered her husband teaching them the Scriptures. She remarried fourteen years later but then lost that husband to cancer after only 4 years. Having had her share of intense trials, loss, along with struggles with trusting God and forgiving those who had hurt her, she wrote this, “God never withholds from His child that which His love and wisdom call good. God's refusals are always merciful -- "severe mercies" at times but mercies all the same. God never denies us our hearts desire except to give us something better.”

I am awed by that truth, are you? It’s one of those truths that can be really hard to believe, but yet we must, for it IS true. And there is great comfort in that – that no matter what pain we go through, God has something bigger in mind. May God help us to embrace the hard lessons, for they are the way to growth.

I will close this by sharing my all-time favorite quote. This prayer by Elisabeth Elliot I have often found myself echoing, sometimes amidst tears and feelings of frustration:

Perhaps some future day Lord,

Thy strong hand will lead me to a place where I must stand

Utterly alone.

Alone, O gracious Love

But for Thee;

I shall be satisfied if I can see – Jesus only.

I do not know Thy plans for years to come

My spirit finds its perfect home sufficiency.

Lord, all my desire is before Thee now

Lead on, no matter where, no matter what – I trust in Thee.

My Grace is Sufficient

    While in Malawi, several verses meant a lot to me. Psalm 139 was incredibly meaningful, and this particular verse I'll mention below meant a lot to me, on two different levels. I'll be speaking about one part of the verse today, and the other hopefully tomorrow.

    2 Corinthians 12:7-10 were the verses God used when I felt completely empty. Today, myself and the team I went with gave a presentation at our church of pictures and stories from our recent missions trip. While I was thinking about what to say, several of the memories I hadn't thought of in a couple weeks came back to me, this one being one of them.

    "And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, 'My grace is sufficient for thee, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.' Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ might rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong."

    I can remember multiple times just going outside the church I was preaching at in Africa and just dropping to my knees in the brush outside, just crying out to God that I was done, finished, empty. One particular time stands out very clearly when I just felt completely crushed by the absolute lunacy of the idea of a 16 year old, white, pampered, American kid being able to actually do anything for God.


    While I couldn't remember the rest of the passage or even the reference, God gave me that phrase over and over again, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness." Over and over again, I could feel the despair coming on, and over and over again I could feel God bringing that verse to my mind.

    Why was that particular verse so meaningful? Because that first phrase that I'll address today contains a really important truth if we could just hammer it through our thick skulls.

    It's not all about you. It's not all about me. Those thoughts and emotions I was feeling outside a little mud church in Malawi were real. I am not able to serve God as faithfully as I ought. I cannot fulfill the great commission. I cannot preach the gospel as I ought.

    But you know who can? God can, through me. So despite my failures, my sins, my downfalls, my temptations, God's grace is sufficient. It's sufficient to cover my sin, it's enough to keep me going, to give me the strength to continue. God's grace is sufficient for me.

    Sometimes we get this idea in our head that we have to save the world on our own, that somehow the burden of the world's salvation is on our shoulders and is our responsibility. No wonder we get depressed! But if we look at everything through the eyes of my own disability and God's ability, we see how great things can be accomplished. Because God's grace is sufficient.

    God did not commission the disciples to run out and just wildly swing at the Devil. No, He gave the battle plan. Go out, make disciples of all nations, baptizing them, and teaching them to observe all that Jesus' commanded us to do. But He concluded with a promise, that He would be with us.

    God sends us out as sheep among wolves. But He sends us out with the promise of His presence and of His power, so that as Eric Ludy says, we are "like little lambs, with the faces of lions." It's not about what you or I can do, it's about what we will allow God to do with His grace and power through us. We don't have to be the best preacher, or the best writer, or the best witness. All we have to do is give our best and allow God to work with us and through us.

    So, when you get discouraged, and you start wondering what exactly a sinner like you is doing trying to work for God when you know how messed up you really are, remember.....it's not about us! It's not about how strong, how smart, how informed, how amazing we are!

    It's all about Christ. It's about the amazing all-sufficiency of Jesus Christ. It's about His amazing gift of His unmerited favor, His grace that can shine through every facet of our lives, and glow with the very presence of God. It's all about the strength of God in me, through every trail and every test. It's about the very goodness and love of God. It is sufficient. Nothing else is needed. His grace is sufficient!

But God, Don't You Want Me To Be Happy?

Life does not go our way.

I’m not even going to use the word “often” because it really doesn't go the way we think it will at all. Nothing happens the way we thought it would, and while we can sometimes have a general idea of what’s ahead, the circumstances will still surprise us. More often though, there are times when life goes the very opposite of the way we would have desired. Like Job, we also sometimes begin to complain and question what God is doing. I was in this place recently, and here’s what the Lord revealed to me….

But God, don’t You want me to be happy?

“No dear one… at least not if it’s your definition of happy. My child, you do not know for what you ask. You think you ask for what is best and what will bring happiness and joy, but I alone know what is best for you. Your happiness is not MY goal. My glory and conforming you to Christ is MY goal. If your sense of happiness is defined by your expectations than you will live your life disappointed; but if you surrender and trust Me, hold on to both My sovereignty and My goodness you shall have peace and joy that no one can take from you. In this world you will have trouble, but do not fear, for I have overcome the world. I have a purpose and a plan that is bigger than you can see and it is for your good, just not the good that you have in mind. Trust Me dear one, I am good. I love you with a love that is deeper, wider and higher than anything in existence. I have forgiven you your sins, I have made you My child, I have cleansed and purified you and made you righteous. All this was through Christ’s work and none of your own. It is finished and done and you are perfect in Him. There is no spot in you. I delight in you and rejoice over you with singing. I shall never leave you nor forsake you, for I am yours by covenant. Delight in My love and walk in My steps. I am what you need, I am all you need, and I will satisfy you abundantly.” 

But God, don’t You want me to have dreams?

“Oh yes. I have lots of dreams and desires too. Do you want to know what my biggest dream is? It’s that what I desire might be your desire. You see beloved, your dreams come from a heart that is not pure, eyes that are not all-seeing, and a mind that is not all-knowing. Dear one, I know your desires and dreams seem so precious and important, I know that your heart aches with hardship and sorrow, with hurt and disappointment; but there is more that I have for you. I desire for you to desire none upon the earth besides Me. I dream of My glory being displayed in your life; I long for your heart to be fully given to Me. I gave up much for this dream. Actually, I died for it. Christ died that this passion of My heart might be fulfilled, that people could be redeemed from their sin and brought into fellowship with Me. I am the One you desire, I am the creator of all dreams. Beloved, My desire is towards you, will you not put your desire in Me and give Me your dreams?”

But God, don’t You want me to be healthy?

But God, don’t You want me to succeed?

But God, don’t You want me to have a spouse?

But God, don’t You want me to have good things?

“My child… I desire to give you many good things… but while there are many things that you and I can both call good, there is one ultimate good that I desire for you beloved, and that is Me. I am the “good thing” that you long for. If I give you something, is it not good being from My hand? Am I not good? If I withhold something “good” from you, am I not still good? If I did give you many other good things in this world you would not long for the greater good, that is, Me. What you think is good for you would lead to your ruin, it would merely feed your selfishness. So I may often withhold good things from you My child, because I desire for you to have what is eternally good – a heart that is undivided in its love for Me. What is your good is that you walk before Me in faith and obedience, for that is the way of life. Trust Me beloved, for I am good.” 

But God, I thought life with You was supposed to be happy!?!?

“Oh beloved, you are still looking at your life based on your feelings. It is faith you need, not happy feelings. Feelings change and deceive. I never change, I am the same yesterday, today and forever. Shall not I, the Judge of all the earth, do what is right? I am faithful. I will fulfill My purposes through you. I am good and will work all things for your ultimate good – conformity to the image of Christ. No, it’s not easy, but I bore the worst of it for you and made it possible for you to walk at all. And I will walk with you and carry you through. I will never give up on you. I will always forgive you, for you are Mine. Trust Me, not your feelings. Give Me your heart. In My presence is fullness of joy and at My right hand pleasures forevermore.”

While Job questioned, He also held fast to the sovereignty and goodness of God. He said, “Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” (Job 2:10) and “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him” (Job 13:15). That last sentence always amazed me. “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” How can you trust a God who could bring you to your death, even a painful one like it appeared to be for Job? Because He is good. Even when we don’t understand, even when it looks impossibly difficult, even when it hurts, we can trust in a God who is sovereign, faithful and good. We must trust Him, for otherwise we shall find ourselves resisting Him.

May we find the grace to surrender to His purposes and rest in His everlasting love. That perfect love that will never let us go.

 “If we could see what God could see (which we never will, because we will never be infinite), we would see millions upon millions of purposes in every action of the Son of God. God is never doing just one thing in what He does with us. He is always doing thousands of things that we cannot see. He never has only one purpose in what He does. He always has thousands of purposes in everything He does… For those who love Him and are called according to His purpose, all of them – all of them! – work together for good.”  – John Piper

The Love of God As Portrayed By A Puritan

    While I am not a fan of poetry, I do like certain poems. In studying for a literature test today, I ran across this poem by Puritan Edward Taylor.

"What love is this of Thine, that cannot be
  In Thine infinity, O Lord, confined,
  Unless it in Thy very person see
  Infinity and Finity conjoined?
  What! hath Thy godhead, as not satisfied,
  Married our manhood, making it its bride?"

"Oh, matchless love! filling heaven to the brim!
  O'errunning it, all running o'er beside
  This world! Nay, overflowing hell, wherein
  For Thine elect there rose a mighty tide!
  That there our veins might through Thy Person bleed
  To quench those flames that else would on us feed."

"Oh! that thy love might overflow my heart
   To fire the same with love! For love I would,
   But oh! my straitened breast! my lifeless spark!
   My fireless flame! What chilly love and cold!
   In measure small! in measure chilly! See!
   Lord, blow the coal, Thy love enflame in me."

                  Meditation One, by Edward Taylor

What Will Thou Do In The Valley?

“Now may He who supplies seed to the sower, and bread for food, supply and multiply the seed you have sown and increase the fruits of your righteousness,” ~2 Corinthians 9:10

“Now may He who supplies seed to the sower, and bread for food”

God gives us all that we need for a spiritual relationship with Him. Simply put, Him, the Bible, and us.

“supply and multiply the seed”

He has the power, and WILL multiply what He has given us.

“you have sown and increase the fruits of your righteousness”

BUT, before He will “multiply the seed”; we have to put in effort. For example, we cannot expect a deep, spiritual relationship with God if we do not regularly read our Bibles, etc.  This reality is further emphasized by the following passage:

“Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.  For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.  And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” ~Galatians 6:7-9

To put this passage into more easy-to-understand terms:

God is not a God of the lazy, but a God of those who put in effort. If you put your effort into things that are of a sin nature, you will get results of a sin nature. But if you sow according to that which is good and comes from God you will get results that are good and come from God.  This won’t come instantly however. You may have to go quite a while of simply putting in effort before you get the results. But don’t worry, it WILL come, even if it takes a while.

If we think about this in terms of a spiritual relationship with God; we will come to realize that we need to put effort (such as reading our Bibles, prayer, etc.) into a spiritual relationship before we can expect results (spirit of wisdom, revelation in the knowledge of Himself, enlightened eyes of understanding, knowing hope, etc. See Eph. 1:17). 

In my personal opinion, I think we all go through ups and downs in our spiritual relationship with God; or at least I know I have. But one thing I have learned time and time again is that I need to SOW before I can REAP. So badly do we want to reap without sowing; but I am afraid that is not the way life works.

So I encourage you, if right now you are in a valley and not a mountain, read you Bible, pray, get in touch with you God and at the proper time you will reap a harvest if you do not give up.

Do Not Be Yourself

This whole philosophy of "being yourself" is not just in secular circles, but it Christian circles as well. Its sad to think how much we really are effected by our culture's beliefs and ideals without even realizing that it goes against the Bible! We need to be what GOD wants us to be, not be who we are. Who we are is sinful. Who we are is fallen. Who we are is depraved and in desperate need to NOT be ourselves and for someone to give us some other image.  But really, I am not just talking about what GOD wants us to be, but is there anything about yourself you have been wanting to change(as long as that thing is not a sin)? Maybe you want to loose weight, develop a new habit, exercise more, or something else. Don't "be yourself". Be who God calls you to be and secondly, only if this does not go against God's will; be who you want to be.

Listen To The Fish You Sluggard

Yes, I know I got the usual term a bit wrong, but it is meant that way.  Stay awhile and you might find out why.

How often do we forget to read our Bibles? -Or maybe some other excuse: busyness, sickness, tiredness, perhaps even disinterest.  But there are other times to read the Bible besides the scheduled morning & evening . The words of God are our comforter, our encourager.  Yet it is often the times when we need it most that we don't read our Bibles.

And this is where the "fish" come in.  You see, this morning I was over by my fish tank, just appreciating my decorative pet fish.  The fish quickly swims over to the feeding area and I can tell that he is hungry.  So I pick up the fish food; and right as I am doing that, he turns around and swims to the other side of the tank.  I sprinkle a little food in the tank but he does not realize that the food he so badly wanted is right there.  I tap the glass a bit, hoping to get his attention, but it wasn't working.  I thought "You stupid fish! Don't you realize that there's food right here?"

And then it donned on me; the thing I was accusing my fish of, we do ALL the time with God.  We are feeling just horrible, maybe we simply had a bad day, perhaps its something worse.  God sees that, and offers comfort all around the clock through His Holy inspired word.  It is our most reliable source of comfort and is often the very last think we turn to, or maybe we, like the fish, don't even realize its there.  We are hungry, God offers food, but we don't take it!

Now the purpose of this post is not to show you the similarities between mere fish food and God's word, but rather to prompt you to read the Bible when you need it most.

Psalm 12:1 says "Help Lord."  Charles Spurgeon writes on this verse that "The occasions for the use of this prayer are frequent...Spiritual warriors in inward conflicts may send to the throne for reinforcements.... Workers in heavenly labor may thus obtain grace in time of need.  Seeking sinners, in doubts and alarms, may offer up the same weighty supplication; in fact, in all these cases, times, and places, this will serve the turn of needy souls. "Help Lord", will suit the living and dying, suffering or laboring, rejoicing or sorrowing.  In Him our help is found, let us not be slack to cry on Him."



When did the Lord comfort you when you needed encouraged?  When are some of the times that the Lord has helped you?


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