“When you can’t see past
the tears, trust His heart” – C.H. Spurgeon
Usually when we hear the term “broken heart” we think of it
in terms of a broken romantic relationship, but the truth is our heart can be
broken when anything our heart has hoped in is disappointed. We hope for a job,
promotion, or opportunity and we don’t get it; we hope for a certain direction
in life and are dissuaded by sickness, finances, family problems, or who-knows
what else; we hope for happiness but often trials and heartache find us
instead. Proverbs says, “Hope deferred
makes the heart sick,” (Prov 13:12) and when hope is disappointed the heart
is indeed as if “sick,” we just tend to use the term “broken”. Emotional pain
is very real… and you can’t put a band-aid on it. If it is not dealt with it can
lead to depression and even physical illness. And then you can lose hope altogether
which is why it has led some to their death or to the taking of their own life.
It is possible to die from a broken heart.
However, as a Christian who believes in both the complete
sovereignty and perfect goodness of God, I have often sought to understand His
purposes for my trials. The path of pain is often mysterious but we do know
that in all things God has one ultimate purpose, to conform His children to the
image of Christ (Rom 8:28-29). Each time as I have allowed the Lord to work in
my heart He has revealed things in my heart that He wanted to correct. This is
not to say that we always bring hardship or pain on ourselves because of our
sin, although that is sometimes the case. Often the Lord simply allows us to go
through hard circumstances in order to grow our faith. If we never struggled,
we would never grow. “No pain, no gain” is a motto that the Apostle Paul
exemplified.
While there have been many things that I've learned through seasons
of brokenness, the correction (teaching) has often centered around one question
the Spirit whispers to my heart, “Beloved, where
is your hope?” Psalm 42:5 says, “Why art thou cast down, O my soul? And why
art thou disquieted in me? Hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the
help of his countenance.” I chose to use the KJV here because I love the
beautiful language of the command “Hope
thou in God”. In Psalm 27:13-14 it says this, “I would have lost heart unless I had believed that I would see
the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and He
shall strengthen your heart; wait I say, on the LORD.” Without hope we lose
heart, so we must believe. Believe in what? In the goodness of God! Hold on to
your faith that God is good and that one day all will be made right. A.W. Tozer
wrote, “Whether we are happy or unhappy at any given time is not important.
That we be in the will of God is all that matters. We may safely leave with Him
the incident of heartache or happiness. He will know how much we need of either
or both.” Yes, feelings matter. And we shouldn’t just dismiss the hurt that someone
feels. But feelings are not truth. We must look beyond how we feel to Christ
who, by the way, suffered more than we ever could.
Jim and Elisabeth Elliot are two of my heroes. Despite their
love and desire to marry they waited about 4 years before Jim finally sensed
the Lord’s timing and leading them to be joined. Then, less than 2 ½ years later
(when their daughter was only a year old) Jim was killed by the natives he was
trying to reach with the Gospel. A few years later Elisabeth spent several
years in the jungle with the very men who had murdered her husband teaching
them the Scriptures. She remarried fourteen years later but then lost that
husband to cancer after only 4 years. Having had her share of intense trials,
loss, along with struggles with trusting God and forgiving those who had hurt
her, she wrote this, “God never withholds from His child that which His love
and wisdom call good. God's refusals are always merciful -- "severe
mercies" at times but mercies all the same. God never denies us our hearts desire except to give us something
better.”
I am awed by that truth, are you? It’s one of those truths
that can be really hard to believe, but yet we must, for it IS true. And there
is great comfort in that – that no matter what pain we go through, God has
something bigger in mind. May God help us to embrace the hard lessons, for they
are the way to growth.
I will close this by sharing my
all-time favorite quote. This prayer by Elisabeth Elliot I have often found
myself echoing, sometimes amidst tears and feelings of frustration:
Perhaps some future day Lord,
Thy strong hand will lead me to a place where I must stand
Utterly alone.
Alone, O gracious Love
But for Thee;
I shall be satisfied if I can see – Jesus only.
I do not know Thy plans for years to come
My spirit finds its perfect home sufficiency.
Lord, all my desire is before Thee now
Lead on, no matter where, no
matter what – I trust in Thee.
